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Last updated on September 6th, 2022 at 11:08 pm
Mother’s Day is coming – the time of year when the family is supposed to appreciate the woman who does it all.
This year, I’ve decided to give my family something for Mother’s Day…actually the full year. It all centers around one question:
Are you a happy mama?
This is something my toddler asks me often. She often asks it when she knows I’m unhappy with her.
It’s hard to say yes, especially when she decides to be really difficult. I know I would love to say a solid “yes!”
I’ve been working my way through Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project. It’s been a great reflection on my life. It’s got me thinking about whether I’ve been doing things that make me and everyone around me happier and if I’m living my life in a meaningful way.
Rather than focusing on what my family can give me this Mother’s Day (like time alone, a spa day, a massage, you know, the classic mom stuff), I’m focusing on what I can give them during the next year to make our family culture happier.
Happiness is a gift we can give ourselves.
For her Happiness Project, Gretchen created a Resolutions Chart to mark her progress in keeping her resolutions. According to her book, Benjamin Franklin made a chart for the virtues he wanted to practice. (You can download a copy of Gretchen’s Resolutions Chart here.)
In a similar way, I’ve decided to create 12 Resolutions of Motherhood to help make me a happier and loving mom. I want my family to look back and remember the fun things we did and know that we were happy.
Here are the 12 resolutions I’m making this Mother’s Day:
1 | Make time for play
How many times have I said, “I can’t play right now. I’m working.”
I hate it every time those words come out of my mouth.
It won’t derail my day to spend 5 minutes playing kitchen or dressing up dolls. I don’t want to look back and regret all those times she said, “Mommy, will you play with me?”
2 | Make time for myself
This is something I do daily already. I make the time to read, write, create, or do something I enjoy. It’s not an option to run on empty. My mood will infect the rest of my family. I’m striving to be a happy mommy…especially when I’m asked, “Mommy, are you happy?”
3 | Exercise daily
I can definitely feel it if I don’t exercise. I get anxious and I can’t focus. Exercise isn’t only good for my physical well being. It makes a huge difference in my mental health.
It’s also the time I come up with my best ideas while I listen to podcasts. Working up a sweat gets my brain working and creative.
Also, obsessing over hitting my fitness goals on my Apple Watch is becoming a thing.
I know it’s a good thing for me to model exercise as a daily habit to my daughter. She needs to know it’s important to do it. Plus, it’s so dang cute watching her trying to do all the exercises with me 🙂 .
4 | Put down the devices
I was getting better at this and now I suck again. Why do I automatically go for my phone whenever there’s a lull? I know I would much rather be focusing on my child or spending time in prayer or silence.
Having an Apple Watch has made a difference in not constantly checking my phone, but I don’t think it’s enough. I recently listened to this podcast where James Clear talks about deleting apps off your phone or getting locked out in order to make it harder to do those bad habits related to our phones.
I might have to take his advice.
5 | Slow down
Am I really in that much of a hurry? I realized I’m always telling my daughter, “Hurry up!”
So often I feel so harassed by all the work that I have to do that the stress gets the best of my nerves. Or the toddler has made me later than I want to be to get somewhere (I hate being late).
There’s something to that phrase, “Stop and smell the roses.” I should be taking the time to stop and point things out to my daughter. She’s in the age of discovery and it needs to be nurtured.
6 | Be silly
Half the fun when you’re a kid is silliness. The toddler always wants to be silly but I hardly indulge in that myself. I want to let her silliness infect me (at the appropriate times) so we can have more fun and make more memories.
7 | Rest
Like everyone else on the planet, I’m so bad at rest. I’ve been trying to get better about going to bed at a decent time, or going to bed when I’m tired. Why is it so dang hard?!
I’m most productive first thing in the morning, so I need to work on going to bed earlier so I can really take advantage of those quiet, early mornings. They say adults need between 7-8 hours of sleep each night, and I usually wake up after 7-7 ½.
The problem is I love early mornings and late nights.
The struggle is real.
8 | Calm down
Stress is part of my daily temperament. It’s a trait that runs through several generations of my family at varying degrees. I’m a little better than my dad, but there are times I could give him a run for his money.
Things are just going to go the way they’re going to go and they’re going to get done or happen or whatever (the “whatever” is the most important part of that sentence). It’s exhausting to worry about things not in my control, so I’m going to give it up.
9 | Make time for prayer
One thing that made a huge difference in how I feel is praying a daily rosary. I believe in the promises of the rosary. I definitely feel closer to Jesus and I’ve found an increase in my faith.
I have The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion that I’ve been doing off and on. I want to set myself up for doing it daily, so I’ll be moving it to my desk instead of my nightstand. Right now it’s just collecting dust.
10 | Spend time with my hubby
It’s not often we get to go on date nights, but we always enjoy it when we do. On our last date night we were reminiscing about how we used to want to go out and do things but we had no money. Now we have more money but we don’t make time to do things!
It’s time to make time for date nights. We can always find ways to earn more money but we can’t get more time. I want to make a better effort of knowing and loving my husband even more. Our relationship is the cornerstone of our family.
11 | Make the healthier choice
By healthier choices, I mean eating more real food and cutting chemicals out of our health routine. These are not easy things to do!
Fortunately, there’s so much information at our fingertips these days that it isn’t too hard to gather information (which is actually what I do for a living…research).The hardest part is having the discipline to stick with healthy choices – especially food!
12 | Learn something new
There are so many new skills I would love to learn. Before I started my own business I was feeling depressed and like I was wasting away. I discovered that learning new skills is an amazing way to increase happiness.
I’d love to learn how to sew my own clothes, to dabble in calligraphy, to pick up watercolor, to cultivate a kitchen garden, and take a photography class. And the internet is such a great place to find courses to learn these things at home!
So, mama, are you going to let Mother’s Day be a single day of happiness or will you also make resolutions for lifelong happiness in this journey of motherhood?
Share some of your resolutions in the comments below! I’d love for us all to be inspired by more ideas!
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