Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means I earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Your use of these links is greatly appreciated!
Last updated on September 15th, 2023 at 02:03 pm
Up until a couple of years ago, I would have told you New Years’ Resolutions are stupid. I also would have said I don’t write goals because the SMART goal-setting method doesn’t work. And I would say all of this because I’m the person who always got good grades in school and felt physically and emotionally horrible if I “failed” at something. And I never got any further than January or February with a goal I’d set. So I just stopped making them.
But after a couple of years of being a working mom and feeling so dissatisfied over how I used my time, I started searching for ways to become more intentional. Some of the people I follow online had been talking about it for a while, so of course, it was on my mind.
2019 was the first year I wrote down goals using Powersheets from Cultivate What Matters. It changed my world. This was the first time I felt like I was being intentional about what I did every single month, week, and day. I stopped feeling like life was happening to me. I was actively choosing to take part and say yes or no to things.
There are two crucial lessons I learned about setting goals in 2019.
#1: It’s not about reaching the goal.
Ok, achieving the goal is important. And it’s an amazing feeling when you actually achieve a goal. But as I’ve spent the past several months working on several goals, I’ve found that I’ve been enjoying the process.
If you think of any story, like Frodo going to destroy the ring, Luke Skywalker becoming a Jedi, or Harry Potter defeating Voldemort, we love watching their journey.
Of course, we want to see them reach the ultimate goal but if we went to a movie or read a book that was just about what they had to do and that they did it, skipping all the fun stuff in the middle, we probably wouldn’t be interested. Watching the heroes’ progress, their struggles, and who they become as a result of the journey is the reason we watch and read these stories.
The same is true in our own lives. We want so much to get to the end but we don’t think about how we’re the heroes of our own stories. The journey is what shapes us. It’s about the life that happens in between setting the goal and reaching it.
One of my goals was to go full time in my business in 2019. And while I have, the journey hasn’t been easy. It’s been really, really difficult. It wasn’t my choice to go full time when I did and I’ve made a lot of mistakes trying to grow. And even though the goal hasn’t grown in the way I wanted it to, I still feel really good about the progress I’ve made. I’m becoming someone I never thought I’d be.
#2: You’re allowed to change your mind.
Whenever I set a goal in January and didn’t keep it, it felt really discouraging. Now I know that something I say I want to do may not be something I actually enjoy, or it’s just not the right time for it.
The Powersheets empower you with the ability to change your mind. Just because you wrote down a goal in December 2018 doesn’t mean that you have to do it no matter what happens. Life changes and so do your goals.
I had a goal to learn a new creative skill, and I specifically wanted to learn calligraphy. It was going fine for about 3 weeks and then life got too busy, so I dropped it. The goal wasn’t a bad goal, it just wasn’t good timing for this point in my life.
Another goal was to keep up on my family memory record-keeping, most specifically, a family yearbook. I didn’t get around to figuring that goal out until September, even though I wanted to start it in January. The timing wasn’t right, so I put it on the shelf until I was ready for it.
If you’re thinking about this whole goal-setting thing but you’re hesitant, I recommend reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. My thoughts around goal setting completely changed when I read it. The book is a personal case study about making progress on goals to ultimately be happier.
The 2 crucial lessons I learned about setting goals:
- It’s not all about reaching the goal. The point of creating goals is to become the person you’re supposed to be as you progress toward your goal.
- If a goal isn’t working, it’s okay to let it go. It doesn’t do you any good if you’re not enjoying it or it’s just not the right time to implement that goal.
Leave a Reply