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Last updated on April 9th, 2022 at 09:15 pm
“How do I get my kids to help clean up around the house? I can’t get organized because they’re always pulling things out and making messes!”
I hear ya. The struggle is real. How can we keep our homes clean and tidy when we have mess makers living with us?
You have to set expectations.
At our house, the expectation is that our daughter picks up her toys daily. As she’s gotten older, we’ve added other chores, such as making her bed and dusting furniture.
It’s too hard to do everything myself. I have other responsibilities, and so we set the expectation that Juliana has to help with the chores she’s assigned.
We also give her chores so that she learns how to clean and organize, and she learns responsibility. (Many of my readers say they can’t get organized because they never learned how. Teaching your kids how to do it while they’re young is one way to avoid that.)
Does she complain sometimes? You bet. But that doesn’t mean I let her get away with not doing it. It’s part of our family’s culture that she helps around the house.
There are 7 ways we’ve gotten our kid to clean up and help around the house.
01 Lead by example
I’m afraid of spiders. I don’t want Juliana to be afraid of spiders, though. So I try very hard to keep my cool. However, the bigger the spider, the harder it is to keep my cool.
There was a time she offered to kill the spiders for me, learning from her dad. But now she’s been hanging around me too much, so she’s freaking out about spiders too.
How can I tell her not to be afraid of spiders when that’s the reaction she’s been witnessing?
In the same way, how can I ask her to pick up after herself if I don’t do any cleaning up after myself?
Our kids are always watching our actions. I’ve learned that, as a parent, my actions often speak louder than my words.
Because Juliana is living in an environment where we clean, tidy up, and organize, she has learned that these are all normal things we do –it’s just part of life.
02 Work together
One reason kids struggle with chores is that they feel like they’re missing out on something else. If they have to dry dishes while all the other kids get to go play, they’re going to put up a fight.
Give everybody some task to complete during each routine so no one feels like they’re being left out.
For example, if it’s a post-dinner cleanup, one job can be to clear the table, another to wipe up the crumbs, another to sweep the floor, another to push in the chairs, another to dry dishes, another to put them away.
Nobody gets left out. And by working together, the work gets done much faster.
In this 10-Minute Tidy checklist, part of the strategy is to have everybody work together to get the house tidied up. But guess what? If everybody takes responsibility for one item, that checklist can be done in less than 10 minutes!
The more helpers, the faster the work gets done.
03 Problem solve
It’s really easy to get upset and frustrated when you’ve asked someone to do something several times and it hasn’t been done.
Wait to cool off, then approach the person with reason. Ask them why they haven’t done as they’ve been asked. It could be that they don’t like the chore they’ve been assigned. Or they don’t like that it takes them away from doing something they’d rather be doing. Or they feel like it takes too long.
Whatever the reason may be, work with that child to come up with a solution that works for everyone.
By doing this, we’re not just finding a way to get work done around the house. We’re teaching our kids how to appropriately problem-solve with others.
04 Teach them
No one is born knowing how to organize and clean up. We have to be taught.
If you want your kids to pick up their toys, show them where each of the toys belongs. If you want help with other chores, teach them how to do it.
Here’s a great article with age-appropriate chores for kids.
Be patient. Be okay with it not being perfect. It’s better to have their help than none at all.
05 Give them areas of responsibility
Depending on their age, it might be too overwhelming for them to do all the clean up themselves. If it’s the playroom always in question, give them one responsibility. One child can pick up toys while another puts away the books.
(In our case, since we only have one child, I offer to help pick up the books as she does the toys.)
Assign specific chores to them too so they can learn. For example, for many months Juliana has been responsible for dusting the furniture in her bedroom and her playroom. Now that she’s getting the hang of it, I’m increasing her responsibilities to dusting the living room as well.
06 Simplify (Declutter)
Sometimes, there’s just too much stuff. As overwhelming as it is for us as adults to deal with clutter, it’s much harder for kids. They have less experience in dealing with clutter, so we have to teach them what to do.
Having less means there will be less to clean up. If it’s really hard for your kids to pick up their toys and books, consider decluttering with them or at least putting away some of the toys.
Your kids won’t feel as overwhelmed by the amount of stuff to put away. And you’ll spend less time telling them to clean up.
07 Make it fun
Sometimes we don’t want to do chores because “it’s boring.” In that case, come up with fun creative ways to make chore time fun.
Here’s a post with 8 ways to make chore time more fun.
Getting your kids to help clean up around the house can be a struggle. But by making it an expectation and supporting them as they clean up will help make it normal.
Cleaning and organizing is just part of life. We can teach these skills to our kids early on so it becomes a natural habit.
And they won’t have to worry about cluttered, messy homes as adults.
Use this 10-Minute Tidying Checklist to make organizing a team effort and a part of everyday life.
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