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Last updated on May 31st, 2023 at 04:51 pm
GREAT news! Marie Kondo quit perfectionist tidying, and you can, too!
Don’t get me wrong: tidiness can increase calmness in certain seasons of life. But if you’re in the season of having young children, tidiness is a burden.
Hearing that Marie Kondo has given up on an impossible standard of tidiness in this recent article (originally published in the Washington Post) gives hope to mothers of all young children.
Marie Kondo is the author of the bestselling book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and star of the Netflix series “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.” Her tidying method is incredibly popular in the organizing world, with what “sparks joy” as its standard for choosing what to keep.
But it turns out tidiness isn’t any longer what “sparks joy” for her now that she’s welcomed her third child.
Here are the 3 most helpful quotes from a recent article about why Marie Kondo quit so you can give up on extreme tidying, too.
Quote 01. “It became difficult to maintain that standard after having my children. So much was out of my control.”
You may know that my husband and I only have one miracle baby. For that reason, our daughter is a very popular playmate for her cousins and friends. As an only child, she can see each child as an individual, which is beautiful to behold.
But it can also be frustrating for her during playdates at our house when big families come to play. She likes things orderly and knows how to put things away. (This only came with all the years I’ve spent teaching her how to do it. She wasn’t born with an innate sense of how to do this.)
I can guarantee that if she had younger brothers and sisters, our house would be a lot messier. For her future, if she ever has a big family, she needs to learn that messiness is part of family life. That’s why I embrace having lots of little kids to play over at our house often.
Children are children. They take everything out and don’t put anything away. They have a tendency to destroy things by accident when no one’s looking. Things get lost and misplaced.
I’ve been around and organized with plenty of large families to know that keeping impeccable order with young children is impossible.
Marie Kondo can attest to this now, having 3 young children herself. But rest assured —someday those children will grow up and the house will be tidy. (And you’ll dream of the days back when your house was a mess …I do.)
Quote 02. “Tidying up means dealing with all the ‘things’ in your life. So, what do you really want to put in order?”
This quote comes in the context of Kondo packing her schedule and putting too much pressure on herself. It’s one thing to organize your physical stuff, but an entirely different thing to organize your schedule.
Many people claim they’re too busy to organize, or do many things they WANT to be doing, for that matter.
It’s hard to be joyful (as Marie Kondo’s thing is to “spark joy”) when we cram our schedules full of things we must do for the sake of productivity.
When I schedule my week, I make sure to block out time to rest or do whatever —read, play games with my daughter, take a nap, etc.
Rest can be as productive as doing stuff.
For an orderly life, it’s important to say no to doing things —even if the thing you’re saying no to is tidying up.
Quote 03. “I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”
I hear over and over again from my community about how their children (& spouses) are getting in the way of organizing their homes.
But our families are not burdens. They are incredible gifts that we have limited time with.
As mentioned early in this article, our daughter is our only child. She’s now 8 years old, and time is flying by. Why would I spend all those precious moments worried about the state of my house when she’s only little for another couple of years?
I don’t want my daughter to look back and think about how her mom was so concerned about what the house looked like all the time. (Who are we trying to impress, anyway?)
I want her to remember how I played when it was time to play, rested when it was time to rest, and worked when it was time to work.
Home can better “spark joy” when we remember that it’s not a museum. Home is a place to play and rest and be loved and accepted.
I hope these 3 quotes will help you quit perfectionist tidying like Marie Kondo.
Keeping impossible standards will certainly not “spark joy” but take away from it. Perfectionism can take control of our lives when so much, like the free will of others, is out of our control, and take away our happiness.
We can tidy up our schedules to spend our time doing what’s most important, and therefore, bring us more joy!
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